Shoes Of The Day

LeBron stepped out on the hardwood in his new shoes yesterday, the new Nike Zoom LeBron 5. Get this; the shoes feature a map of the city of Akron, Ohio on the sole and the inside of the tongue — just in case you need a second reference point. The legend? Well, you will find the legend in the next pair of Air Jordans. You will now need both pairs to effectively navigate the city of Akron. It’s brilliant Nike!

I remember getting “mixed-up-3rd-trailer-on-the-left-far-see-done-gone-too-far” directions in the south, man if only I had a pair of shoes with a map! For the asking retail price I could have a fabulous Rand Mcnally atlas, with more cities than Akron, and roughly 9 pairs of Starburys. They must really be pressing for additional features to move these expensive shoes, which were just conveniently lowered in price. Oh, don’t cry for me Akron-tina, he will be okay - he still has his 7 year, 90 million dollar endorsement.

What’s next the LeBron 6: a laces-view camera with social networking capabilities and a High School diploma? Now you can see his fancy footwork at each game and conveniently share your homework with all your friends.

The shoes hit store shelves November 15 at a cost of $140 a pair. A black and red pair goes on sale December 13. Personally, I would rather have 10 pairs of Starburys than one pair of these. What about a white pair? Sorry, I couldn’t resist. The shoes of the day: Nike Zoom LeBron 5

So in case you are lost in Akron, OH just take off your shoes, they will help you find your way home. Nike, please sell them with a compass too — a moral compass.

Trick: I cant really do any. Here is some candy kid, now off you go. Go and get the mystery grab bag at the neighbors house. By the way, nice costume and nice shoes.

Treat: Spend $15 on basketball shoes that normally retail between $100 to 200. Okay, do a trick because I dont believe you.

Right, I too remember when Magic Johnson, Hakeem Olajuwon and Patrick Ewing all tried to sell cheap shoes to the masses - yeah, that went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. I bet you, like me are just dying to get you hands on a pair of vintage Olajuwons! Then there is the behemoth Shaquille O’Neal, who sells his shoes at Payless for $25 — and well, they haven’t sold like Hanna Montana tickets either. But for Mr. Stephon Marbury, the two-time All-Star, and fifth-highest-paid player in the league, is successfully selling his “starbury” for a measly $14.98. Yes that is in US dollars, not in Pounds, Pesos, Yen or Canadian. That is because he actually wears his shoes at every game. People are lining up by the thousands to purchase these shoes. Finally, basketball shoes that you wont need a second mortgage for: The shoes of the day the Starbury II.

Check this diagram out:

Think of how many lives will now be saved — nobody’s going to shoot anybody for basketball shoes that cost $15! You can buy them here.

Thanks Stephon, and well done effectively marketing to the masses.
I may just pass out these shoes next Halloween.